I realize how ignorant I am.

At first, it was painful. Then, something tried to convince me it wasn’t so bad.

It whispered, “It may have been a lot worse.”

I tried to calm myself down and boosted my ego. It attempted to change the subject, insisting on past victories.

It became apparent that this “something” was living inside me, trying to normalize my ignorance. It acted casually as if nothing had happened.

— “Your ignorance is normal; you are overreacting!” it exclaimed.

I observed it in complete silence.

— “What are you?” I asked.

— “What do you mean? I’m your mind!” it replied.

It was clear that it wasn’t my mind. Intense and eccentric, somewhat overprotective, it was hard for me to discern its motives.

— “Okay, why is ignorance acceptable?”

— “You can’t learn everything. You should learn what you need, but trying to learn everything is crazy!”

— “Why?”

— “Because the world is too big; you would need at least three lifetimes to learn it all.”

I looked at the light wooden floor and thought for a moment.

— “Are you scared that we won’t make it?” I asked.

— “I’m not scared; I’m nervous you are wasting your time!”

— “And if so, what would that change?”

— “You need stability!”

— “I’m sorry, but I know what I need, and you’ve never introduced yourself, if you please?”

— “I did! I’m your mind!”

— “I’m sorry, but this is not true. My mind is talking to you right now, and with all due respect, it can’t be in two places simultaneously.”

— “Okay, okay… I’m your Fear.”

We sat quietly for several minutes before I finally asked:

— “Why did you lie to me?”

— “It’s my nature. I lie to you for your good, to protect you from troubles. This world is full of them, you know.”

— “I know.”

— “Are you mad at me?”

— “No, quite the opposite. I understand you better now once I realize we are separate beings. I feel sane, and I even somewhat like you.”

— “You are such a nice fella; it was so nice to live with you. I assume I have to move out now?”

— “I think it will be best for both of us.”

— “Can I come visit sometime, on Saturdays or when you are traveling alone?”

— “You can, but I will contact you first and confirm the time, okay?”

— “Okay!”

We hugged each other, and I closed my eyes for a moment.

Spring was running its sunny errands with cheerful birds and young green leaves. The window was ajar. I felt the slight breeze of cool air crawling on my shoulders.

I opened my eyes; the Fear was gone.